The XIII Days of Christmas
by Pharaoh-chan
Summary: Xemnas is told of a strange holiday called Christmas, which is run by a man named Santa Claus. He orders Demyx and Axel to go kidnap Santa and force him to become a Nobody. Pairings? I dunno. XD It's worth a good laugh maybe....come take a peek...


"Sir, I have uncovered strange news."

"Indeed, Number VII. What have you encountered?"

"There's a celebration approaching. What most humans would refer to as a….holiday. A most auspicious occasion."

"Hmm. Sounds intriguing. Do continue."

"They call it…..Christmas."

"Christmas? What is this strange….Christmas?"

"OOOH. I know." Demyx shouted, waving his arms in emphasis. The Superior shot him a disapproving glare, and he reddened and mumbled an apology to the upper member. The Superior nodded his head and allowed him to explain himself.

"Well…..it's this holiday where there's cookies, and trees, and they put stuff ON the trees, and lights, and they all stand around it and start singing and there's this guy who goes around breaking into everyone's houses-"

"WHAT?! That sounds HORRIBLE! What kind of holiday is that?!" Marluxia shot out, eyes wide. The other hooded figures nodded in agreement.

"Well…..it's kinda weird sounding, but wait, it gets better. This guy, his name is Santa Claus, and he goes around delivering boxes with pretty bows on them, and inside the boxes are presents and toys for kids. And he puts toys and candy inside of these socks that are hanging by fireplaces."

"But why do they hang their socks up? Are they bloody mad?" Luxord coughed out, and the rest of the members began to mutter how insolent the human race truly was. But suddenly they all stopped talking with a grinding halt, as a large booming voice echoed throughout the room.

"Who exactly is…..this Santa Claus? He sounds like a man of great power." Xemnas said, rubbing his chin with a gloved hand. "Yes, truly powerful indeed."

"Sir….you're not thinking of-"

"Why yes…" He smirked, "Perhaps we should persuade this Santa to become one of us."

"Oooh….I….uh….don't think that's possible, sir." Demyx murmured, "See, Santa's supposedly this good guy who only gives presents to good kids."

"AND WHO SAYS WE ARE NOT JUST AS GOOD AS THIS-THIS SANTA?!" Xemnas yelled, sending the members cowering back in their seats.

"U-uhm….Sir……we……we just killed a guy not too long ago and made him into a Heartless."

"And we also kidnapped that Kairi girl."

"And you sent me to go kill Roxas."

"And there was this time I put a lobster in Larxene's bed-"

"YOU DID WHAT??!!?"

"SILENCE, ALL OF YOU." Xemnas yelled yet again, and put a gloved hand to his chin in thought. "So perhaps we are…..not as "good" as this Santa. But perhaps WE can persuade HIM to join us."

"How on earth are you going to do that, Superior dude?" Xigbar asked.

Xemnas turned to Number Two's seat to answer him but saw he wasn't there, so he looked around the room, his mouth gaping. "Number Two? Number Two?! NUMBER TWO??!"

"Dude." Xigbar hung down from the ceiling. "No need to yell, I'm right here."

"Good Kingdom Hearts, I really wish you didn't do that!! TAKE YOUR SEAT!!"

Xigbar sighed, floating down to his seat, and began to grumble irritably.

"Now does anyone, anyone at all know where this Santa man lives?" Xemnas cried, exasperated.

No one answered for a few moments, but finally a not so eager Demyx raised his hand shakily.

"Ah….I….I know where he lives, sir."

"Hmmmm……….does….anyone ELSE know where he lives? Anyone? Anyone at all?" He glanced around the room. "Any takers? Really, even if you have…a CLUE about his whereabouts, speak up. No need to be shy." Demyx continued to be the only one to raise his hand, and finally Superior let out a huge sigh of defeat and slapped a hand to his face.

"Fine. Number IX…..you will seek out this Santa, and you will force him to come to our world. And just so you don't manage to screw this up, AXEL," To his name being called, Axel jerked up in his seat, eyes wide at the Superior, "Will assist you in your mission."

The meeting was finally called to a close and Axel was _ticked _to say the least. I mean, really? A mission with HIM of all people? Him, the annoying, _nasally_, quirky, weird, member of the group? Really?

Really.

"So uh….you want to hit the road now? Best not to make Superior angry." Demyx came up behind him, twiddling his thumbs nervously.

"Yeah, whatever. We'll leave when I'm ready to." Axel spat out, looking forward to an _oh so special_ time with Number IX.

"But we should go now, so we can back early…"

"HEY. I SAID when I'm good and ready alright? WHO'S above WHO here, huh? Water boy?" He glared down from his tall height, jabbing him in the chest with a bony finger.

Demyx swallowed thickly and squeaked out, "Well I don't want to get in trouble with Superior is all. You don't either, do you?"

Axel rolled his eyes, turning away from the smaller male and summoned up a portal.

"Whatever, just follow me."

"But you don't even know where you're going." Demyx protested, but was dragged in anyway, by a very annoyed redhead.

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"I TOLD you a million times, Axel! The Christmas door is the one with the tree on it! You've taken us through every other door!"

"Oh shut up." Axel spat out, tromping through the leaves, arms crossed. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard anyway. How're people gonna know THAT'S the Christmas door, just by seeing a TREE on it?"

"Because that's part of how you celebrate Christmas! Geez! You wasted so much TIME going through all these other doors, when you could've just listened to me!"

"Shut uuuuuup. Your voice is so annoying!" Axel placed a hand to his throbbing temple. "You gave me a headache. Thanks a lot."

Demyx placed his hands on his hips, glaring down at Axel.

"Look, can we JUST go through the door? I don't want to be on this mission anymore then you do."

"And another thing," Axel went on, ignoring the blonde's request. "Why is Christmas, along with every other holiday IN Halloween Town? That doesn't make sense. That's stupid."

"Axel, I don't know or care can we PLEASE just get going already!" Demyx shouted, causing Axel to wince and abruptly stop his train of thought.

"Geez your voice is annoying." Axel shook his head and shoved past the blonde, opening the door, and tumbling through.

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"So where are we supposed to find this Santa guy?" Axel said, rubbing his arms. He did not embrace the cold well.

"Maybe in that huge workshop over there?" Demyx pointed down the hill to a festive and colorful looking arrangement of buildings.

Axel let out a shivering breath of steam from his mouth and tromped down the hill in the cold snow.

"Do you think he knows we're coming?" Demyx gasped, cold snow sinking into his boots and sliding down to his feet, making them numb.

"Well if he's gotta know if all the kids in the world are good or not, he probably knows what everyone's doing. So yeah…" Axel let out another shaky breath, as he rubbed his arms for friction. It was almost impossible for Axel to generate heat without there being any already in the air.

"Even us? Even…..Nobodies?" Demyx stopped in the snow, thoughtfully. Axel turned around, gazing at his blonde companion.

"I mean….we're….not supposed to exist….so…technically…" Demyx trailed off, deep in thought, and he began to frown.

"Demyx…..don't….think that." Axel said, rubbing his arms again. "Just don't think about it. C'mon….we got a job to do, right?" He didn't like seeing the younger Nobody think so much like that. It just didn't suit the Melodious Nocturne's character to worry about things like that.

Demyx took the bait and followed his redheaded companion, suddenly snapping out of his dark thoughts and putting up a defensive smile. "Right! Let's go!" And he ran ahead of him in the snow, tripping and tumbling, and even Axel, as cold as he was had to laugh at the scene.

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So yeah, some random fanfiction right here. I may post another chapter up. Or I may not. XD


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